did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
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what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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