now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just gift wrapped bread.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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