I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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