escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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