You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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