I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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