Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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