Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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