i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
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He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
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also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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