if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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