You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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