How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize