Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize