So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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