Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
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You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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