why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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