Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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