Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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