thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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