Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize