You smell like a Billy Joel song
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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