During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize