I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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