We're facebook friends in real life
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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