sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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