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I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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