they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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