I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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