my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize