That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
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Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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