Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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