Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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