please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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