That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize