I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize