my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize