Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
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I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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