I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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