You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
kristin has been a bad kristin
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize