My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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