I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I would fuck him just for his dog
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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