Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
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My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
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In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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