Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize