I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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