I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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