i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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