Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize