is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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