i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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