Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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